NEWS FLASH FOR 2025 A.D.

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country of the world, mexifornia, formerly known as California. White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's formal language. Baby conceived naturally scientists stumped. Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage. Iran still closed off, scientists estimate it will take another ten years before radioactivity decreases to safe level. France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica. Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now finally be imported, however President Chelsea Clinton has banned smoking. Postal service raises price for a first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesday only. 85 years, $78.5 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss. Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs. Massachusetts executes last living conservative. Supreme court rules punishment of criminals, violates their civil rights. New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, rolled up newpapers, and fly swatters be registered. IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75percent. Florida voters still having troubles with voting machines.