And now for some quips and quotes from me!!

1.Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
2.A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
3.Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
4.A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm, and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."
5.I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any.
6.A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel, and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories.
After about an hour, the manager came out of the office, and asked them to disperse. "But why," they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said. "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."