Rules of the Universe

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. Don't worry about what people think; they don't do it very often. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand. Opportunities always look bigger after they have passed. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends. Never lick a steak knife. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.