what more can a person say?

Sometimes we try too hard to get to the greener grass. In the process...we run into trouble. And when you find yourself in trouble and you find yourself stuck in a situation that you can't get out of, there is one thing you should always remember. NOT EVERYONE THAT SHOWS UP IS THERE TO HELP YOU!!

A woman asks her husband at breakfast time, "Would you like some bacon and eggs, a slice of toast, and maybe some grapefruit, juice and coffee?" He declines. "Thanks for asking, but I'm not hungry right now. It's this Viagra," he says. "It's really taken the edge off my appetite." At lunchtime, she asked him if he would like something. "How about a bowl of soup, homemade muffins, or a cheese sandwich?" He declines. "The Viagra," he says, "really trashes my desire for food." Come dinnertime, she asks if he wants anything to eat. "Would you like a juicy rib eye steak and some scrumptious apple pie? Or maybe a rotisserie chicken or tasty stir fry?" He declines again. "No," he says, "it's got to be the Viagra. I'm still not hungry." "Well," she says, "Would you mind letting me up? I'm starving."

And of course we just have to recognize our homeless..good luck.

Some great pics from Washington State....ain't he soooo handsome!!

Now for more of the light side of life,,,some redneck pics.

This next post is quite long but it is about how the privileged few get great medical care. How Obama says we as the public will get the same care as those that run this country. Well you decide. Oh and the links are posted below the article so you can go and see that they are real.

(Free Republic)- The exact quote from the Obama press release is: "It sets up a new competitive health insurance market giving tens of millions of Americans the exact same insurance choices that members of Congress will have." This is complete and ongoing BS. Congress and their staffers and friends don't just get Cadillac care; they get Rolls Royce care... care no American will ever see. How good is the medical care for Senators and Congress members? There is a physician or nurse practitioner on duty in EVERY Senate and House office building all day/every day. Not just one for the Senators and one for House Members; there is a doctor or nurse practitioner on duty in EACH of the three Senate office buildings and one in each of the three House office buildings! There is even one on duty in the Capitol building itself. That means no Member or Senator is ever more than a 250 foot walk away from a Doctor or Nurse Practitioner who will see them immediately, with no waiting as soon as they walk in the door! No claim forms, no paperwork, just one $503 per year fee, unchanged since 1992, for everything they could ever want.

Office of the Attending Physician Would Not Comment

The OAP refused to comment in detail for this story, and Rear Adm. Brian Monahan, the Attending Physician to Congress, did not return phone calls requesting an interview. When ABC News chief medical editor Dr. Timothy Johnson visited the office in person in September to speak with Monahan, he was asked to leave. After Johnson's visit, Kyle Anderson, a spokesman for the House Committee on Administration, which partially oversees the OAP, called ABC News and agreed to answer some general questions via e-mail. He refused to discuss the number of staff members who work at the OAP or the type of facilities the OAP makes available to members of Congress. Requests by ABC News to tour the facility were also denied due to "security sensitivities." Anderson said members of Congress are treated by specialists from military hospitals who visit the OAP at no charge. Congressmen are also eligible for free out-patient care at military facilities in the Washington, D.C., area, including Walter Reed Army Medical Center and Bethesda Naval Medical Center. However, Anderson said, "individual health insurance is required for members to see local health professionals." Rep. Steve Kagen of Wisconsin -- one of 15 medical doctors in Congress -- is the only member of either the House or Senate who has no health insurance coverage. Kagen, a Democrat and advocate for health care reform, said he turned down the plan he was offered through the Federal Employee Health Benefits Program. "I said, 'I'll tell you what. I respectfully decline. Until you can make the same offer to everyone that I have the honor of representing, I just don't think it's fair," Kagen said he told the congressional staffer who reviewed the plan with him in 2006. But while Kagen has touted in campaign advertisements and news interviews that he has no health insurance coverage, he has openly admitted he used OAP services. In January, for example, he paid more than $4,000 out of pocket for outpatient arthroscopic knee surgery. After the procedure, he said, he used the attending physician's office and staff to assist him with physical therapy. "It's one of the, quote, benefits of being in Congress," Kagen said. "They have physicians and nurses that will see you on the spot, on the beck and call." Kagen said he believed the office was no different than the on-site medical clinics at major corporations. "It's kind of like being at a very large employer, where you have an on-site nurse or an on-site doctor, an on-site capability to get your immunizations or your blood pressure checked." Those who have worked at the OAP, however, said the services are far more advanced than what is available at most companies. One former staff member, who asked not to be named, described the OAP as "the best health care on the planet." "They provide members an accessible, professional place to get services. The alternative would be members going throughout Washington, DC, interrupting their service to our country," Balbona said. "It's not a political perk. Much like a medic who's in combat, it's not a perk for those soldiers. It's part of the mission." http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/OnCall/congress-health-care-clinic/story?id=8706655&page=3 (here is the link if ya don’t believe me. I pay almost three times as much as these chumps do and I don’t get this kind of care…But then I am no on the Senate floor!)

Brenda and Sam took their six-year-old son to the doctor. With some hesitation, they explained that although their little angel appeared to be in good health, they were concerned about his rather small penis. After examining the child, the doctor confidently declared, 'Just feed him pancakes. That should solve the problem.' The next morning when the boy arrived at breakfast, there was a large stack of warm pan cakes in the middle of the table. 'Gee, Mom,' he exclaimed. 'For me?' 'Just take two,' Brenda replied . 'The rest are for your father.

How about some old printed advertisements??

Seriously, I want you to look at both of these pictures. Now proof has been shown as to why some men go out in public with their pants down to their knees. I am so glad that this is settled. Now I can sleep better at night.

QUIPS AND QUOTES

I had amnesia once -- or twice.
All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
If the world was a logical place, men would be the ones who ride horses sidesaddle.
What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
They told me I was gullible... and I believed them..
Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.
One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.
My weight is perfect for my height -- which varies.

some redneck pics for ya!!

Religion of peace??? Come now!!

Yep--about everything I need to know about Islam.

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, 'When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah'. The teacher asked, 'What if Jonah went to hell?' The little girl replied, 'Then you ask him'.

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch.. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: 'Take only ONE . God is watching.' Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, 'Take all you want. God is watching the apples.'

An elderly man in Louisiana had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple, and peach trees. One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end. One of the women shouted to him, 'we're not coming out until you leave!' The old man frowned, 'I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked.' Holding the bucket up he said,
'I'm here to feed the alligator...'

New Orleans, La., — This evening, members of the New Orleans Police Department are investigating the murder of two men, ages 25 and 22-years of age. The 25-year-old local man has been identified as Larmondo Allen. The other victim was identified as 22-year-old Edward Taylor. The offense occurred shortly before 11:00 p.m., at 2339 Martin Luther King Boulevard (Guste Public Housing Development).
According to investigators, COPS officers were patrolling the development and heard several gunshots and later found the men in the development. Taylor was observed lying in the courtyard, suffering apparent multiple gunshot wounds to the head and body. Allen was seen lying, a short distance away from the first victim, on a concrete stairway and near the second floor balcony. He suffered an apparent gunshot wound to the chest. Both men were pronounced dead on the scene.
Both men were convicted felons, Taylor had a Second Degree Murder Warrant for his arrest in connection with the January 7, 2003 murder of 26-year-old Aaron Jones who was killed in the 1500 block of Bienville Street. The NOPD aired his photograph on January 14, 2004 in connection with this case.
Allen also has previous arrests, and in May of 2003 he was arrested on two (2) counts of attempted murder and one count of First Degree Murder. In December and October of 1999, he was arrested on two separate First Degree Murder cases.
ENTREPRENEUR!!!!! Crap!! This guy had nine kids by the time he was 25...what a load of crap. Oh by the way this obit came out in 2006.

Do you know that when a woman wears a leather dress, a man's heart beats quicker, his throat gets dry, he gets weak in the knees, and he begins to think irrationally??? Ever wonder why? It's because she smells like a new car.

Wonder why??

Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand? If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words? Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing? Why do "tug" boats push their barges? Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"? Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites? If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?
Christmas - What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy
out of your socks?

Fox hunting needs to be banned!!

I was in a restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to pass gas.
The music was really, really loud, so I timed my gas to the beat of the music.
After a couple of songs, I started to feel better.
I finished my coffee and noticed that everybody was staring at me.
It was then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.

An Arabic country's ambassador to Dubai has had his marriage contract annulled after discovering the bride was cross-eyed and had facial hair. The woman had worn an islamic veil on the few occasions that the couple had met. The envoy, who has not been identified, told a Sharia court her mother had tricked him by showing him pictures of the bride's sister, Gulf News reported.
He only discovered the deception when he lifted the woman's veil to kiss her.
The court had annulled the marriage contract but rejected a $130,000 (£83,000) compensation claim for gifts he had bought his intended, the report said. That is what happens when you marry a bed sheet. Here is the link…http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/8508077.stm

Little Zachary was doing very badly in math.
His parents had tried everything...tutors, mentors,
flash cards, special learning centers. In short, everything they could think of to help his math. Finally, in a last ditch effort, they took Zachary down and enrolled him In the local Catholic school. After the first day, little Zachary came home with a very serious look on his face. He didn't even kiss his mother hello. Instead, he went straight to his room and started studying. Books and papers were spread out all over the room and little Zachary was hard at work. His mother was amazed. She called him down to dinner. To her shock, the minute he was done, he marched back to his room without a word, and in no time, he was back hitting the books as hard as before. This went on for some time, day after day, while the mother tried to understand what made all the difference. Finally, little Zachary brought home his report Card.. He quietly laid it on the table, went up to his room and hit the books. With great trepidation, His Mom looked at it and to her great surprise, Little Zachary got an 'A' in math. She could no longer hold her curiosity.. She went to his room and said, 'Son, what was it? Was it the nuns?' Little Zachary looked at her and shook his head, no.. 'Well, then,' she replied, Was it the books, the discipline, the structure, the uniforms? WHAT WAS IT?' Little Zachary looked at her and said, 'Well, on the first day of school when I saw that guy nailed to the plus sign, I knew they weren't fooling around.'

I have heard that this next post is true about the railroad..but the last three or four sentences are a gas!! The US standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches. That's an exceedingly odd number. Why was that gauge used? Well, because that's the way they built them in England , and English engineers designed the first US railroads. Why did the English build them like that? Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built the wagon tramways, and that's the gauge they used. So, why did 'they' use that gauge then? Because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools that they had used for building wagons, which used that same wheel spacing. Why did the wagons have that particular odd wheel spacing? Well, if they tried to use any other spacing, the wagon wheels would break more often on some of the old, long distance roads in England . You see, that's the spacing of the wheel ruts. So who built those old rutted roads? Imperial Rome built the first long distance roads in Europe (including England ) for their legions. Those roads have been used ever since.. And the ruts in the roads? Roman war chariots formed the initial ruts, which everyone else had to match or run the risk of destroying their wagon wheels. Since the chariots were made for Imperial Rome , they were all alike in the matter of wheel spacing. Therefore the United States standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches is derived from the original specifications for an Imperial Roman war chariot. Bureaucracies live forever. So the next time you are handed a specification/procedure/process and wonder 'What horse's ass came up with this?', you may be exactly right. Imperial Roman army chariots were made just wide enough to accommodate the rear ends of two war horses. (Two horses' asses..)
Now, the twist to the story: When you see a Space Shuttle sitting on its launch pad, there are two big booster rockets attached to the sides of the main fuel tank. These are solid rocket boosters, or SRBs. The SRBs are made by Thiokol at their factory in Utah . The engineers who designed the SRBs would have preferred to make them a bit fatter, but the SRBs had to be shipped by train from the factory to the launch site. The railroad line from the factory happens to run through a tunnel in the mountains, and the SRBs had to fit through that tunnel... The tunnel is slightly wider than the railroad track, and the railroad track, as you now know, is about as wide as two horses' behinds. So, a major Space Shuttle design feature of what is arguably the world's most advanced transportation system was determined over two thousand years ago by the width of a horse's ass. And you thought being a horse's ass wasn't important? Ancient horse's asses control almost everything and... CURRENT Horses Asses are controlling everything else.

Four brothers left home for college, and they became successful doctors and lawyers and they prospered. Some years later, they chatted after having dinner together. They discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother who lived far away in another city. The first said "I had a big house built for Mama." The second said "I had a hundred thousand dollar theater built in the house." The third said "I had my Mercedes dealer deliver an SL600 to her." The fourth said, "You know how Mama loved reading the Bible and you know she can't read anymore because she can't see very well. I met this preacher that knows about this parrot that can recite the entire Bible. It took 20 preachers 12 years to teach him. I had to pledge to contribute $100,000.00 a year for 20 years to the church, but it was worth it. Mama just has to name the chapter and verse and the parrot will recite it. The other brothers were impressed. After the holidays Mama sent out her usual thank you notes. "Milton, the house is so huge. I only live in one room, but I have to clean the whole house." "Thanks anyway." "Marvin, I am too old to travel. I stay home and have my groceries delivered, so I never use the Mercedes." "The thought was good, thanks." "Michael, you gave me an expensive theater room with Dolby sound, that seats 50 people. But all my friends are dead." "I am deaf and almost totally blind. I will never use it. Thank you for the gesture just the same." "Dearest Melvin, you were the only son to have the good sense to give a little thought to your gift. The chicken was delicious."

A few more redneck pics....And a few ads that were before my time...oh how times have changed.

A Georgia Congressman was seated next to a little girl on the airplane leaving from Atlanta when he turned to her and said, 'Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.'The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to the total stranger, 'What would you like to talk about?''Oh, I don't know,' said the southern congressman. 'How about global warming or universal health care', and he smiles smugly. OK, ' she said. 'Those could be interesting topics. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?'The southern legislator, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says, 'Hmmm, I have no idea.'To which the little girl replies, 'Do you really feel qualified to discuss global warming or universal health care when you don't know shit?