The pope and Nancy Pelosi were on the same stage in front of a huge crowd at Yankee stadium. The pope leaned toward Nancy and said, "Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this stadium go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, but will go deep into their hearts and they will forever speak of this day and rejoice!" Mrs. Pelosi replied,"I really doubt that. With one little wave of your hand?" "Show me." So the pope slapped her.

An elderly man of 73 years old was fishing in his boat having a relaxing day. He heard a voice whisper to him. "Pick me up." He looked around and couldn't see anyone. He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice again only louder, "Pick me up." He looked in the water and there floating on top was a frog. The man said, "Are you talking to me?" The frog said, "Yes I'm talking to you. Pick me up, then kiss me and I will turn into the most beautiful woman you have ever seen. I'll make sure that all your friends are jealous and envious because I will be your bride!" The man looked at the frog for a moment, then picked up the frog putting it into his shirt pocket. The frog said, "What are you nuts? Didn't you hear what I said? I said kiss me and I will be your beautiful bride!" He opened his pocket and said, "Nah, at my age I would rather have a talking frog."