I am so thankful for the men that are still here with us that can observe this weekend. And I am very thankful for the men that serve under the flag. Bless our forces!

Questions and Answers from an AARP Forum.

Q: Where can men over the age of 60 find younger, sexy women who are interested in them?
A: Try a bookstore...under fiction.

Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?
A: Keep busy. If you are handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you are done, you will have a place to live.

Q: Someone has told me that menopause is mentioned in the Bible. Is that true? Where can it be found?
A: Yes. Matthew 14:92: "And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Egypt."

Q: Where should 60+year olds look for eye glasses"
A: On their foreheads.

Q: What is the most common remark made by 60+year olds when they enter antique stores?
A: "Gosh! I remember these."

Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your 60+year old husband?
A: Tell him you are pregnant.

Q: How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly...wrinkles?
A: Take off your glasses.

Q: Seriously! What can I do for these crow's feet and all those wrinkles on my face?
A: Go braless; It will usually pull them out.

Q: Why should 60+year old people use valet parking?
A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.

Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?
A: Yes. But usually in the afternoon.

BAD DAY

A guy is sitting at the bar, just staring at his drink for half an hour when this big trouble-making biker steps next to him, grabs his drink, gulps it down in one swig and then turns to the guy with a menacing stare as if to say, "What'cha gonna do about it?" the poor guy starts crying. "Come on man I was just giving you a hard time," the biker says. "I didn't think you'd CRY about it. I can't stand to see a man cry." "This is the worst day of my life," says the little guy between sobs. "I can not do anything right. I over slept and was late to an important meeting, so my boss fired me." "When I went to the parking lot, I found my car was stolen and I don't have any insurance." "I left my wallet in the cab I took home." "I found my wife in bed with the gardener and then my dog bit me." "So I came to this bar trying to work up the courage to put an end to my life, and then you show up and drink the damn poison!

A chicken farmer went to a local bar, sat next to a woman adn ordered a glass of champagne. The woman perked up and said, "How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too!" "What a coincidence" said the farmer, "This is a special day for me, I am celebrating." "This is a special day for me too, I am also celebrating." said the woman. "What a coincidence," said the farmer, as they clinked glasses he added, "What are you celebrating?" "My husband and I have been trying to have a child and today my gynecologist told me that I am pregnant!" "What a coincidence," said the man, "I'm a chicken farmer and for years all of my hens were infertile, but today they are all laying fertilized eggs." "That's great!" said the woman, "How did your chickens become fertile?" "I used a different rooster," he replied. The woman smiled, clinked his glass and said, "What a coincidence!"

Conjoined twins walk into a pub in Toronto and park themselves on a bar stool. One of them says to the bartender, "Don't mind us, we're joined at the hip. I'm John, he's Jim. Two Molson Canadian beers please. The bartender, feeling slightly awkward, tries to make polite conversation while pouring the beers. "Been on holiday yet, lads?" "Off to England next month." says John. "We go to England every year, hire a car and drive for miles, don't we, Jim?" Jim agrees. "Ah, England!" says the bartender. "Wonderful country...the history, the beer, the culture." "Nah, we don't like that British crap," says John. "Hamburgers and Molson's beer, that's us, eh, Jim?" Jim agrees. "And we can't stand the English, they're so arrogant and rude, not civil and polite like us Canadians." "So why keep going to England?" asks the bartender. "It's the only chance Jim gets to drive."

This picture was made in 1918 at an army training camp at Ft. Dodge, Iowa with 18,000 men!! Very interesting photo.

Now for some gooooood Memorial Day pics hope you like them.

A man was sunbathing naked at the beach.For the sake of civility, and to keep it from getting sunburned, he had a hat over his privates.A woman walks past and says, snickering,"If you were a Gentleman, you'd lift your hat!!" He raised an eyebrow, and replied,"If you weren't so ugly,it would lift itself."

(Politico)- Secretary of State Hillary Clinton made a rare foray into domestic politics today, offering her view that — given America’s high unemployment — wealthy Americans don’t pay enough taxes. “The rich are not paying their fair share in any nation that is facing the kind of employment issues [America currently does] — whether it’s individual, corporate or whatever [form of] taxation forms,”Clinton told an audience at the Brookings Institution, where she was discussing the Administration’s new National Security Strategy. Clinton said the comment was her personal opinion alone. “I’m not speaking for the administration, so I’ll preface that with a very clear caveat,” she said. Clinton went on to cite Brazil as a model. “Brazil has the highest tax-to-GDP rate in the Western Hemisphere and guess what — they’re growing like crazy,” Clinton said. “And the rich are getting richer, but they’re pulling people out of poverty.” (On a personal note I wonder how much of the Clintons wealth they are willing to give up to help with the distribution of wealth. I wonder how much of their money they have donated to lower this incredible deficit?) http://www.politico.com/blogs/bensmith/0510/Clinton_The_rich_are_not_paying_their_fair_share.html

GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED: 1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.2) Wrinkles don't hurt.3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts 4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground... 5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy..

GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED

1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats...
2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food...
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair..
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandma's lap.

Memorial Day is coming this weekend!! I am sooooo thankful for the military.

WASHINGTON—President Barack Obama will send 1,200 National Guard troops to the Mexican border, an administration official said Tuesday, following calls from politicians in both parties to step up the fight against illegal immigration and border violence. "This proves that until we have comprehensive immigration policy, we'll subject the country to a series of band-aids, rather than a long-term solution," said Rick Nelson, a national-security analyst at the Center for Strategic and International Studies in Washington, D.C. He called the troop deployment "more posturing than an effective measure." "We are outraged," said Pablo Alvarado, director of the National Day Laborer Organizing Network, a Los Angeles-based immigrant advocacy group. "Instead of addressing a domestic human rights crisis, the president appears to be caving into extremists who are further shattering an already broken immigration system," he said. (I would like to remind Mr. Nelson that if he and the government would just obey the law that is currently on the books this would not be a problem, nor a band-aid as he calls it. As for Mr. Alverado, this is not a human rights crisis. Why not just go home to Mexico where you belong. Instead of committing a crime when you cross the border. You are invading OUR rights not us invading yours.) http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704026204575266792744749152.html?mod=rss_whats_news_us

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD

1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional..
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:

1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus..

SUCCESS:

At age 4 success is . . . . Not piddling in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . . Having friends.
At age 17 success is . . Having a driver's license.
At age 35 success is . . ..having money.
At age 50 success is . . Having money..
At age 70 success is . . . Having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is . ... . Having friends.
At age 80 success is . . . Not piddling in your pants.

My nephew graduated from high school this last week! Congratulations to him and his parents who did an incredible job in raising such a great son. Now moving on to college to play football. Hey uhhh can I get an autograph?

This woman had surgery recently to have a "butt uplift." The surgery was not successful, and should not be recommended to anyone.

I forgot some....

Brand new pics from our family in Wyoming....and several with their other grandpa..and I am sure that he loved being with them there. Enjoy!!