A drunken cowboy lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh Amarillo Theater. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the cowboy, 'Sorry, sir, but you're only allowed one seat.' The cowboy groaned but didn't budge. The usher became more impatient: 'Sir, if you don't get up from there I'm going to have to call the manager.' Once again, the cowboy just groaned. The usher marched briskly back up the aisle, and in a moment he returned with the manager. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move the cowboy. 'All right buddy what's your name?' 'Fred,' the cowboy moaned. 'Where ya from, Fred?' With terrible pain in his voice, and without moving a muscle, Fred replied, the balconey.’

A little boy was attending his first wedding.
After the service, his cousin asked him,
"How many women can a man marry?"
"Sixteen," the boy responded.
His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly.
"How do you know that?"
"Easy," the little boy said.
"All you have to do is add it up, like the pastor said,
4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer."

Look mommy! An 8ft. tall idiot! http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/ticket/lady-gaga-meets-president-obama-041033361.html

Oooops!

HEY!! Are you winking at me?

On MSNBC Wednesday (9-21-11), appearing from the National Press Club in Washington, D.C., director and producer Ron Howard said he would be open to the wealthy paying more taxes. “Well, to be honest, I remember on the ‘Andy Griffith Show’ when income taxes for the upper levels were as much as 90 percent,” Howard said. “And that’s the era that we often look back to with great nostalgia and it was a time of tremendous growth. So you know, I’m not averse to paying some taxes to try to help the country grow and help the economy grow.” Well let me tell ya something Opie! You are right the tax rate from 1960-1968 was 21% to 91%. However what you are not telling anyone is that was a GROSS income tax not a net income tax. Now anyone knows that you have expenditures which lowers your taxable income. And besides how would you know about nostalgia you were only 9-15 years old when you were on that show! And you didn't get the money your parents did. Geez!

I hope this guy runs in 2012. He is just what we need in Washington.

This video was done in August 2009. If you were watching TV this weekend you see he is a Big LIAR!

interesting shoes.

I will never forget!

Photos from wayyyy up north....thanks G!

The young couple invited their elderly pastor for Sunday dinner. While they were in the kitchen preparing the meal, the minister asked their son what they were having.
"Goat," the little boy replied.
"Goat?" replied the startled man of the cloth, "Are you sure about that?"
"Yep," said the youngster. "I heard Dad say to Mom, 'Today is just as good as any to have the old goat for dinner.' "

A well-worn one-dollar bill and a similarly distressed twenty-dollar bill arrived at a Federal Reserve Bank to be retired.
As they moved along the conveyor belt to be burned, they struck up a conversation.
The twenty-dollar bill reminisced about its travels all over the country.
"I've had a pretty good life," the twenty proclaimed. "Why I've been to Las Vegas and Atlantic City , the finest restaurants in New York , performances on Broadway, and even a cruise to the Caribbean ."
"Wow!" said the one-dollar bill. "You've really had an exciting life!"
"So, tell me," says the twenty, "where have you been throughout your lifetime?"
The one dollar bill replies, "Oh, I've been to the Methodist Church , the Baptist Church , the Lutheran Church ."
The twenty-dollar bill interrupts, "What's a church?"

Long way down!

The folks who are getting free stuff,
Don't like the folks who are paying for the free stuff.
Because the folks who are paying for the free stuff, Can no longer afford to pay for both the free stuff and their own stuff. And, the folks who are paying for the free stuff, Want the free stuff to stop.
And the folks who are getting the free stuff, Want even MORE free stuff on top of the free stuff they're getting already. Now, the people who are forcing people to PAY for the free stuff, Have told the people who are RECEIVING the free stuff, that the people who are PAYING for the free stuff, are being mean, prejudiced and racist.
So, the people who are GETTING the free stuff, have been convinced they need to HATE the people who are PAYING for the free stuff because they are selfish.
And they are promised more free stuff if they will vote for the people who force the people who pay for the free stuff to give them even more free stuff.
And -- when the free stuff stops , the folks receiving the free stuff will riot, burn, steal and commit mayhem.
For the "rich" owes them! It is happening in England and coming here soon.

And that's the Straight Stuff!

I don't know if this is a real photo but if it is this guy is in a world of hurt.