A drunken cowboy lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh Amarillo Theater. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the cowboy, 'Sorry, sir, but you're only allowed one seat.' The cowboy groaned but didn't budge. The usher became more impatient: 'Sir, if you don't get up from there I'm going to have to call the manager.' Once again, the cowboy just groaned. The usher marched briskly back up the aisle, and in a moment he returned with the manager. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move the cowboy. 'All right buddy what's your name?' 'Fred,' the cowboy moaned. 'Where ya from, Fred?' With terrible pain in his voice, and without moving a muscle, Fred replied, the balconey.’

A little boy was attending his first wedding.
After the service, his cousin asked him,
"How many women can a man marry?"
"Sixteen," the boy responded.
His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly.
"How do you know that?"
"Easy," the little boy said.
"All you have to do is add it up, like the pastor said,
4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer."