A little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon dragged on and on.
Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered, "Mommy, if we give him the money now, will he let us go?"

An older guy who was not in the best of shape.... was working out at the gym when he spotted a sexy and beautiful young woman. He asked the nearby trainer, "What machine should I use in here to impress that cute young thing over there?" The trainer looked him up and down and said, "I'd try the ATM in the lobby."