Kids in the back seat cause accidents.

Accidents in the back seat cause kids.

It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.

 The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you're in the bathroom.

If God wanted me to touch my toes, he'd have put them on my knees.

 When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does everyone want to play chess?

 It's not hard to meet expenses . . . they're everywhere.

 The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.