A friend of mine  went to confession on Saturday evening before Mass and started with the usual…

“Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It’s been 4 weeks since my last confession.

Last night, I beat the crap out of an Obama supporter."

The Priest responds, "My son, I'm here to forgive your sins, not to discuss your community service.”

oh by the way I am the after lol!

Mike walked into a sports bar around 9:58 PM.

He sat down next to a blonde at the bar, and stared up at the TV.

The 10 PM news was coming on.

The news crew was covering the story

Of a man on the ledge of a large building, preparing to jump.

The blonde looked at Mike and said,

"Do you think he'll jump?"

 Mike said, "You know, I bet he'll jump."

The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't."

Mike placed a $20 bill on the bar, and said, "You're on!"

Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy on the ledge

Did a swan dive off the building, falling to his death.

The blonde was very upset,

But willingly handed her $20 to Mike.

"Fair's fair. Here's your money."

Mike replied,

"I can't take your money.

I saw this earlier on the 5 PM news,

So I knew he would jump."

The blonde replied,

"I did, too,

But I didn't think he'd do it again."

Mike took the money.

Unfortunately it does not work out like this!

Aint it the truth!

And that is all I got to say about this!!