Marvelous pics of what the Jeep did in WWII!!

Today, my wife said to me,"Honey, get off your  *#!*&   and fix that gutter downspout!    And, I want it done before the end of the day!”
"Well, as you all know, at my age, and most of my friends, are retired and do have the time to address such "Honeydos"….
So, I invited some of my buddies over to help with the project.
One is a sheet metal worker.
One is an Iron Worker so he came with his welder.
One brought beer and Nachos.
One brought a grill and burgers.
Took us about 6 hours, and 30-40 beers, but we got it done just as we finished off the last of the beer and burgers.
As usual, the wife is still not happy!!
Can't understand, cause all us guys love it!    Personally, I cannot wait for it to rain

A young Arab boy asks his father What is that strange hat you are wearing?
The father said: Why, my son, it is a chechia. In the desert it
protects our heads from the intense heat of the sun.
And what is the long flowing robe you are wearing?  asked the boy
Oh, my son! exclaimed the father It is very simple. This is a
djbellah. As I have told you, in the desert it is not only very
hot, but the sand is always blowing. My djbellah protects the entire
Body,
The son then asked: But Father, what about those ugly shoes you have on your feet?
These arebabouches my son, the father replied. You must
understand that although the desert sands are very beautiful, they are
also extremely hot. These babouches keep us from burning our feet.
So tell me then, Why are you living in Minnesota and still wearing all this shit?, added the boy.

I was sitting at a long stop light yesterday, thinking about what I would do to keep busy during retirement, minding my own business and patiently waiting for one of the few traffic lights to turn green, even though there was no on-coming traffic.

An old Nissan full of bearded, young, loud Islamic extremists shouting Anti-American slogans, with a half-burned American Flag duct-taped on the trunk of their car, and a "Remember 9-11" slogan spray painted on the side, stopped next to me. 

Suddenly they yelled, "Allah Akbar! Praise Allah! Death to America" and took off before the light changed. Out of nowhere an 18-wheeler truck came speeding through the intersection and ran directly over their car, crushing it completely and killing everyone in it.

For several minutes I sat in my car thinking to myself, "Man?...that could have been me!"So today, bright and early, I went out and got a job as a truck driver.

So today, bright and early, I went out and got a job as a truck driver.

I was thinking about old age and decided that old age is when you still have something on the ball,
but you are just too tired to bounce it.

I was thinking about old age and decided that old age is when you still have something on the ball,
 but you are just too tired to bounce it.


When people see a cat's litter box they always say,Oh, have you got a cat? Just once I want to say,No, it's for company!


I was thinking:
If only 11 million people have Obama-Care, how will 24 million people die if it is repealed? Will an additional 13 million people be randomly shot?
 I was thinking:
If Donald Trump deleted all of his emails, wiped his server with Bleachbit and destroyed all of his phones with a hammer, would the Mainstream Media suddenly lose all interest in the story and declare him innocent?
I was thinking:
If women do the same job for less money, why do companies hire men to do the same job for more money?
I was thinking:
If you rob a bank in a sanctuary city, is it illegal or is it just an undocumented withdrawal?
I was thinking:
Each ISIS attack now is a reaction to Trump policies, but all ISIS attacks during Obama's term were due to climate change and a plea for jobs.
I was thinking:
We should stop calling them all 'Entitlements'. Welfare, Food Stamps, WIC, ad nausea are not entitlements. They are taxpayer-funded handouts, and shouldn't be called entitlements at all. No one is ENTITLED to them. Social Security and Veterans Benefits, on the other hand, ARE entitlements because the people receiving them ARE entitled to them. They were earned and paid for by the recipients.
 I was thinking:
If Liberals don't believe in biological gender, then why did they march for women's rights ?
I was thinking:
How did the Russians get Debbie Wasserman Schultz and the DNC to steal the Primary from Bernie Sanders? How did Russia get Donna Brazile to leak debate questions to Hillary Clinton in advance of the debates?
I was thinking:
Why is it that Democrats think super delegates are fine, but they have a problem with the Electoral College?
I was thinking:
If you don't want the FBI involved in elections, then don't nominate someone who's being investigated by the FBI.
I was thinking:
If Hillary's speeches cost $250,000 an hour, how come no one shows up to her free ones?
I was thinking:
The DNC is mad at Russia because they 'think' the Russians are trying to manipulate our election by exposing that the DNC is manipulating our election.
I was thinking:
If Democrats don't want foreigners involved in our elections, why do they think it's all right for illegals to vote?